Little bitty step then a possible bang...

Had to asked by boss to move my desk.
Felt like I was back in grade school.

I tried to push it off as personality conflict...no one person at fault. Didn't work as I don't complain about anything being that my main goal is to be invisible and keep my job.

So, I simply explained that the (2) most negative folks I have ever met let alone worked near is starting of affect my ability to do the job.

She wondered if they were getting on peoples nerves. Can't say much to that can we.

So boss lady is gong to talk to the powers that be. If it happens it might have to wait until the new year. Maybe thinking that escape is near will make the daily horrors a little more bearable.

Then again if they wait to long there is always Robbie's Yule gift waiting to be used...
just kidding.

The November Blues

So here it is, my favorite time of year. The weather has cooled down and feeling crisp. Leaves falling about the yard and field grasses turning brown. Wispy yellow flowers blooming in wet areas. Pumpkin patches. Autumn in Florida.

Deep breath…yes, my favorite time of year.

It seems I also get a bad case of the blues. Self centered I am a horrible person so I have no friends cannot do a thing right kind of blue. Even pulled out the Nick Drake music, which has not been touched since this time last year.

*sigh*

So hang tight
Take another deep breath
Just let it go
Whatever the blue is…

No Guarantee

News of a favorite uncle is ill.

He and I used to sneak out of church to smoke and talk. He quit before me but still snuck out just to get updates on life or just to sit quietly to watch the world pass by on the quiet rural Wisconsin street. He is kind, generous, thoughtful, talented and outright funny southern man.

The story of his Wall Mart fart still makes me laugh. Pride takes on new dimensions with that story. How about the name of his rock band “Rhythm Method” . Yes, they are Catholic.

Anyway, his wife (whom I also adore) sent a little email to let the family know and request prayers.

Sending healing thoughts and energy into the universe hoping it finds him. If only love could heal.

When it don’t come easy

Patty Griffin
When it don’t come easy

Red lights are flashing on the highway
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight
Everywhere the waters getting rough
Your best intentions may not be enough
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight

But if you brake downI'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy

I don't know nothing except change will come
Year after year what we do is undone
Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run
I wonder if we're gonna ever get home

You're out there walking down a highway
And all of the signs got blown away
Sometimes you wonder if you're walking in the wrong direction

But if you brake down
I'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy

So many things that I had before
That don't matter to me now
Tonight I cry for the love that I've lost
And the love I've never found
When the last bird falls
And the last siren sounds
Someone will say what's been said before
Some love we were looking for

But if you brake downI'll drive out and find you
If you forget my love I'll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don't come easy

Socks...

I purchased grey over the knee socks (that have a slight plaid pattern) and promptly put them in the parking lot while the car ran.

Why on earth does that make me happy and giggle when I look at them?

Mountain Shadows

Mountain Shadows

Sunrise burns off the mountain smoke
Light dances across the worn paths
Autumn smells of earth and fallen leaves
Brown orange red and yellow
Blaze in the afternoon light
Gurgling steams echo and dance

Chill seeps in as the light fades
Sorrowful bugle of a distant elk
Calling all into safety of the woods
Smoke moves like a tide
Rolling silently filling the valley floor
Some hide and go to sleep while the others awake

Under the full moon
Shadows dance from tree to tree
Hiding under smoke deeds of ill
Havoc and destruction
Is the shadows dance
Death and sorrow
Is the shadow song

Strong they are until a spark of light
The hum of morning the shadows mourn
Sunrise peaks above the mountain’s edge
Waking creatures from their bed
Daylight shortens this time of year
There is much to do before it disappears.

Night

My words are silent
Voices left ripping out until dropping unheard
Beats of our heart slowing

Drums of sorrow is the cadence
Steps held never to move or dance
Arms limp broken from time

New moon rises a cold sickle of death
To whom does she call?

Harbor Siren

Harbor Siren

Come into my safe harbor
Called from the fog

If you refuse to abide
My song will leave you wanting

Always wonder what was lost
In the slumbering mist

Follow the sound of light and hope
Let me crush your bones

So you can see what I am
Come into my safe harbor

day

Dark
Cold
It must be morning
Ripping myself from bed
Wait for the shower to warm the cold tile

Coffee

Drive
Garnet taillights
Merging traffic
Text a hello to love

Computer
Phones
Goddess of coffee

Hunger
For something else

Escape
Outside
Drive and sing

Pig
Dogs
Goats and chicken therapy

Hello hugs and love
Dark
Cold
It must me night

It was a birthday weekend.
I am now older than I thought I would be.

Michelle had an interesting thought about aging. In her minds eye she stopped aging about 24. Each time she looked into a mirror there was a bit of surprise.

She asked what age I was.

There was a hesitation in answering…then realized I see who I am each day. Sometimes I look at the gray that I am letting go natural and wonder how fast the white will overtake the dark. Sometimes I look at the lines, wrinkles and sun damage but I remember the post-secret card of a black and white photo of a very old woman laughing up a storm. The comment was “I can’t wait until I am old with many wrinkles. I will look at them each day and remember all the laugher and a good life.”

Today a very young co-worker paid the best complement I think I have ever received.
“I am so envious…you are the person you want to be!” She gave me a big birthday hug full of laugher and smiles.

Tears of joy bubbled up… I am the person I want to be.

There is good and bad
Strength and weakness
Laugher and tears

I am who I am and I have the two loves of my life at my side putting up with it all.
This is life.
A pretty darn good one.

(Oh and Michelle wrote me a song. How f* awesome is that!)

What will the day bring?

There are some days that are better than others.

Like Saturday.
Michelle and I relaxed talked and had chicken therapy then went over to have nice visit with Kate and Nick. They stay at Jean’s home when in town so we get a doubly nice visit.

Sunday was a bit rough as I woke with a killer headache and had a rather stressful incident with misplaced bleach water.

Monday morning…
Woke up when I was to be at work. Ran out of gas with a check engine light. A nice co-worker (I did not recognize) picked me up who ended up being a Senior VP.

Any bets on what Tuesday will bring?